time seems to be moving faster than i would like it to be. my mother will turn sixty in another three years; she was in her thirties just a while back! i can still feel her smooth skin as she tucked in my school uniform and her loud voice from the kitchen, screaming, to have my breakfast. i now have to speak in a tone higher for her to listen clearly- time is moving faster than i would like it to, and i can't help but wonder where did it go?
the restless teenager who once wanted to be an astrophysicist has become a writer in her heart; who now hopes to have the comfort of simple joys than the sting of achievements. although it looks like time has slowed down on the existential scape of things, the actualities of everyday are marching ahead at a speed that breaks my neck, and all i have the courage to do is to ask life to spend a few more hours or even some more minutes with me; to slow down a bit- i need a few more minutes of lying on my bed before the work shift begins. a few more seconds of chewing the food amma feeds me with her hand- to feel the subtle flavour of tamarind in her sambar a few more seconds every single time.
i am beginning to ask the life i know to stay with me for longer.
but how do we slow time now? can we take enough rest for our bodies and minds so that we can see and feel life as it unfolds? can we sit more with our people, like before- before the phones, and talk silly stuff and sing all the wrong lyrics to laugh together. oh wait! half our people are continents apart. but can we choose to talk to them everyday as relentlessly as we reply to our emails? can we find time to sit in the porch like our grandparents? what scares me is what if we don't get to slow time- how will we forgive ourselves for being so busy!
dharani once said that the fear of life and its uncertainties should become a reverence; but when it does, will we not slow down so that we can watch the stars in awe every single time? will we not be more prayerful in the way we love each other? won't we hug more? are we not doing it because we are afraid?
love,
lakshmy
